Confinment within oneself
by chinkyella
Summary: When will this pain end? AU Kagome is in love with her ex, Inuyasha but is also in love with his brother and doesn't know it. She mistreats her true love, while pining for the love of a man who is in her past.


Hey, I'm the original Just Peachy (Protect me, Falseness, Power of Healing, Too much Drama) I've come back… and hopefully all you guys like the new writer I've become… I'm terribly sorry for not updating that I decided to give my stories to a girl named…Himeko. She takes my stories …ok not really my style of writing.. Here's a prelude to my new story.. The girl is Kagome. It's going to be a Sess/Kag. Haha I'm always a S/k fan.   
  
Disclaimer: never owned anything popular in my life.   
  
Prologue: Shelter   
  
For a long time, I missed him terribly. All I wanted was to be with him, to see him, to feel him, to breathe him. That's all I wanted. That's all I thought I needed. That's what I couldn't have.   
  
Words, millions of words… There were more words then any average person would ever say in their whole entire life. Well, maybe not to that extent. My naivety played a role in this word game. I thought reaching the millionth word that had something to do with commitment meant that he loved me. The ironic thing was, while we were together, I listened to one song…  
  
Extreme – More Then Words:  
  
"More then words to show how you feel, that your love for me is real."  
  
The somewhat scary thing is, many young girls are naïve and are persuaded into love by "sweet nothings" only to get their hearts shattered in the end. Most girls take breaks ups differently from guys but my mom says that that's how life is. Every teenaged girl goes through a break up, lives, learns, and goes on with life. She makes it sound so easy. In 4 easy steps!!!  
  
I remember that day. 11:58 pm. Saturday January 24, 2004. It was cold, chilly, and grey. It's funny how the day foreshadows what's bound to happen. I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn't want it to come. I told myself that he would always love me, as I do love him too. I told myself that we could work things out. That our love was strong enough, and all we had to do was fight for it. Well fighting for our love wasn't easy, especially if he didn't love me in the first place. Factors like that kept me happy for the moment being, it left me undeniably crushed later on.   
  
I was terribly disappointed; disappointed in myself, in him, and in others. I wasn't disappointed in others or myself at first, just him. I thought how could he have done this to me? What did I do wrong? Is it me? Is it him? I thought we were happy, I thought we were meant to be. What about the plans we had together, what about us?   
  
He never gave me closure. He said that right now wasn't a good time, we weren't getting anywhere. When I'm ready, we'll get back together. He deserted me in this pool of questions, slowly devouring at my soul. Finally, I began to give myself closure. I curled up in a sheltered ball inside my head. I told myself that there is a possibility that he'll come back to me. Maybe he's just trying to get back at me for the things I did to him. Yeah, that's it. We'll be together again because he said so. But even believing this, I still cried. I cried every time I talked about him, I cried when I thought about him, I cried when he called me, I just cried a river that seemingly would never end.   
  
All I thought about was him. I could've been talking about alligators and somehow, just somehow in a quirky sense it would remind me of him.   
  
I would close my eyes and feel his arms around me. I felt so safe, so loved. I felt like nothing else mattered. It was as if there was nothing but him and me, standing on one face of the earth, in each other's arms, and loving each other for the rest of our lives. I would smile for that slight second, letting the feeling dip into my soul. But then, I remembered…   
  
No. I had to shake it out of my head. Push it out; stop myself from thinking about it. I couldn't dwell on the past, I knew that. The thing is I knew what was right, now it was just a matter of wanting the better for my own good. So, did I want to do what was right at that time? Did I want to forget the bastard so easily, move onto another guy, and live on with life? Or did I want to sit up in my room with the cell next to my feet, waiting for his call?   
  
I wanted to sit in my room, cellular phone clutched in one hand, waiting for him to call me and tell me how much he missed me and how much he wanted me back. It was because of that same reason. I wanted to believe something that was never there just in case it was actually there.  
  
I believed what I wanted to, disregarding what my logical side told me until the day she came into the picture.   
  
It wasn't her fault. So why did I curse her to seven hells and call her foul names? I was just mad, confused, frustrated, and upset.   
  
He lied.   
  
You know the expression of the heart sinking? My heart literally fell and suffocated my stomach for a week. I watched her take over what used to be mine. I watched them express feeling of happiness that I once had.   
  
Was he blind or something? Did he not see me right there, watching them from afar? Did he not remember what he had told me, only at that time 2 weeks ago? How dare he? How dare he deceive me? How dare he leave me to dwell on our past while he enjoys the nurture of their present and future?  
  
Inuyasha…   
  
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So review please? 


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